motherhood

Mother’s day.

Mother’s day just passed, it’s amazing that I get celebrate it as one of those mother’s.  It’s been a rough few days and I have just been feeling so down.

It was just me and my son for mother’s day, my husband is in the military and had to work.  He did take me and my son to the zoo the day before to kind of celebrate, it was a lot of fun.  Since we had a long day the day before I figured me and  the little guy would enjoy a day relaxing, but let’s be honest…. relaxing with a 16 month old is nearly impossible unless he’s sleeping.  I also have two cats and one dog that we are temporarily taking care of at the moment.  I am surprised my whole head of hair didn’t turn grey by the end of the day.

I had a dog peeing in the house, then the cats retaliated and peed as well.  My son could sense my stress that morning, so he was acting out due to my frantic state.  We got everything situated and enjoyed a day at mother in laws, with street tacos and pie for dessert.  Which was nice, it was my carb up day so I took advantage of it.

By the end of the day, I was exhausted.  I got the animals all fed and set for the night, then got my son in his pajamas where we snuggled on the couch.  This is where mothers day really hit me and in my own way, I was able to actually celebrate it.

Every night, I either give my son a bath and get him all settled in his pajamas after dinner.  We have a whole routine, he brushes his teeth (more like I do it for him because he did it on his own, he would just eat the toothpaste) and then we get him into the bath.  We spend enough time in there for his little toes and fingers to turn to prunes, and then we head to the room.  He plays with his toys while I get him all changed and smelling good, he will run into the living room and jump on the couch.  That is my queue to give a him his bottle of milk.

Once that bottle of milk is in his hand, I turn on the television and jumped on the couch.  We snuggled together for about an hour until he falls asleep, but I end up cuddling him for hours afterwards before I end up putting him to bed.

I spend those few hours after he’s fallen asleep, to just take it all in, the entire day and him just laying there next to me so peacefully.  The day was so tiring and felt never-ending, but what would my day would be without all that?

At the end of the day, the day that would not be spent chasing my child or playing with him, I would lay on the couch alone.  Life would not be the same, in a good way.  To see the happiness on his face for the little things, and to see his arms holding tight onto me in his sleep.

Sometimes, I just feel so overwhelmed and tired with questions like, “am I doing this right?” but at that moment when we lay down each night together… seeing that he looks forward to our times together, I realize that he thinks I am doing it right.  That’s all that matters, he is happy and he loves me unconditionally.

 

Thank you baby boy for choosing me to be your mother.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s